Come one, Come all!

The next Detroit Derby Girl event is December 8th! I am determined to take as many friends and relatives to this event so that everyone can see what I am so stoked about. This is what Glass City Rollers strive to be!

So mark your calendars!

Toledo's Holiday Parade

Yesterday the GlassCity Rollers were in the Downtown Toledo Holiday Parade. It was cold!

I have decided that since my stage name is Vodkillah, every event must be attended with vodka in hand to share. So I showed up yesterday at 8 am with a boda bag full of cider and vodka. While attempting to put the boda bag over my head/shoulder for easy access and travelability, my feet came flying out from underneath me, I fell onto my bum and sadly, the boda bag itself. Which, it being cheaply made by Walmart's contracted asian slave labor, broke. This prompted an emergency drinking of the vodka. waste not, want not.

Fast forward 5 minutes later into the fire station we were parked at. And you see the photos that were taken.....


Whoo boy! What a sex shot. The red fanny pack does it I know.





An hour later, we are at the staging area where we were desperately just trying to stay warm. This is me posed on the front of (on top of) Mark Moffet's art car.



This is the aforementioned Mark Moffet with his art car to the left.



And this is the whole gang. (yes, it is a pitiful number of rollergirls--all of the lame girls stayed home)

From the left: Stephen, Jana and their daughter, Mark (on the phone), Vodkillah (me),Ima Zombie, Punk Monkey, Mela-drama, Annie Wrecks-it, and Stephen's other daughter.



***editor's note: These photos were taken with a new camera. I am not sure if I should keep it or not. Please leave any comments about the quality of photos. (click on each photo to get larger images)*****

The best photo ever

I got the best photo ever! A picture of me SIGNING MY FIRST AUTOGRAPH!!!! Do you love it or what?

Detroit Derby Girls Event

I have no idea if this is going to work,(it is an 8 minute video) but here is the video from last weekend's event at the detroit derby girl bout. 6 skaters from our league faced 6 skaters from DDG. We were told to ham it up and have fun. I think it is safe to say that I had fun with it. I can't wait to get started and practice.

(I am the skater with the red helmet and black and white tights. Also, notice right after I get knocked out, it is down to two skaters. The "cast-offs" come in and steal the last chair. In the end, the Glass City Rollers were declared the winners, but it was out of pity)

My Debut into Acting

Wait no more my fans! It is I, your humble thespian. TARTA's commercial for yesterday's levy featured not only yours truly, but also, Steve's grandmother, Kitty Loveday. Take a look. The title for the series is "Hands" and it is very moving piece focusing on the tortured life of a commuter unfortunate enough to have to ride public transportation. It was to provoke a feeling of compassion from "people like us". I don't know about you, but it made me shudder.

Kitty's hands are at the beginning, holding her wicker handbag circa 1982. (Her actual purse was way better looking than the prop that was provided) Then my hands/arms are seen holding the two bags of groceries. Notice my silver watch on the left wrist. I wore that so people I know would recognize me. I don't think anyone did. Which is why I have to post it.

Enjoy

The Bloody Bride 2007

This is this year's Bloody Bride of Lincoln Woods. For some stupid reason, the fall time change did not happen yet, which resulted in trick or treat time to fall mostly in daylight hours. This really sucked.

This is what I do. I stroll through the yard VERY slowly, looking sad and holding a basket full of leaves. (candy beneath) When children approach me I slowly turn to them and stare into their eyes until they begin to shift their weight and get nervous. Then I slowly reach into the basket and pull out the candy along with some leaves and drop it into their bag. This is all happening so slowly that everyone is really uncomfortable. Sometimes, they begin to walk away before I am finished which then I will grab their bag and not let go. Or I will follow them slowly. Or I will lovingly touch their cheek. I never talk and I never break character. I also have a fog machine that I set off that freaks them out. This year I also added a black coffin and the fog rolls out from underneath it. Oh. And the music is going full blast. One track actually sounds like a child is getting hit. That is my favorite.

Toward the end of last night, I even wandered down the middle of the street. A van of screaming girls stopped. (8 year olds) I opened the back door and started to climb in. I think they all peed their pants.

I am starting to really get a reputation. A few people came armed with video cameras last night and told me that my house is their favorite stop. I wish I took video so that I could post it.

I hope your Halloween was as fun as mine!

Mavis

Last night was an amazing and fun! I went to a huge costume party [alone as usual]. I am fortunate to have a lot of amazing friends in my life, but none that aren't lame when it comes to doing something fun and different.

So tell me that I am not daring. This is how I showed up to said party ALONE:



Meet MAVIS THE EVIL LUNCH LADY. That is a mole on my lip with 3 one-inch hairs sticking out of it. It kept getting into my beer all night.

This party had 100% costume participation and wow did people go all out. This was the host of the party. Most of the night, he had a suit on and was Borat. Twice he ran through the crowd dressed like this:



This was his pool table with a guy dressed in a very convincing costume of a PARTY GUEST WHO TRASHES A POOL TABLE. AKA: ASSHOLE.




Here is a more disturbing view of the scene:



Melanie Harris:








This costume was titled ORGY:



Give a man a glue gun.....



KID ROCK:



Two versions of the DICK IN A BOX:

DICK CHANEY:


And the more traditional....

The train is leaving the station

All Aboard folks! There is finally news on the roller derby front! The practice space has been secured, our first fund raiser is being planned, and we will be featured in a half-time show of the Detroit Derby Girls first bout of the season!

Practice Space
Macomber H.S. in Downtown Toledo. Two nights a week (hopefully 8-10) most likely T/Th. To begin as soon as our legal paperwork is filed and we have insurance. Hopefully next week.

First Fund Raiser
This is to raise money for a few different things. Money to pay for the practice space. And money to begin making kick-ass cool merchandise to sell at future events. A little unorthodox, but a great idea none the less. We are setting up a brownie table in Bowling Green NEXT Saturday night between the bars and campus for AFTER the bars close. $1 a brownie--strategically set up right after everyone hits Taco Bell. The team will be there dressed up and skating the parking lot. This supposedly has been done before with amazing results. Wish us luck.

Half-Time Show
November 10 is the Detroit Derby Girls season opener and we have been asked to suit up and be in the half-time show! 6 Toledo girls against 6 Detroit girls in the battle of musical chairs! (We have been told that the chairs are inflatable because folding chairs hurt too much) I am freaking out at this point, because I am not any where NEAR being able to do this, but most likely will be one of the six.....pray for me!

Watch for the article in the Blade. I'll post when it is published. They have a story waiting to go to press as soon as our practice times are decided upon. Wooooo Hoooooo!

My First Public Appearance

Friday night was an Art Loop in downtown Toledo. The Glass City Roller Girls were to dress up and skate around the art galleries to pass out stickers and fliers. After 1 stop, the two girls I was with, dumped the plan and decided to hit the bars. We were met with such enthusiasm and had so much fun! We were out until 2:30 am and just had a blast. Only took a few photos.

Kaleidoscopes

Here is the start of it:

I have completed five of the 25 twelve inch blocks. This photo shows 4 "dark" blocks. There will be a mixture of light and dark blocks which will create an illusion of a kaleidoscope. An example is shown here:

Bits and Pieces

It is that time of year when it is time to do the quilt for the Adopt America Network Charity Auction. Every year, my friend Debbie and I pull together a quilt for the October event. The past few years, we have chosen designs based on a favorite designer, Kaffe Fassett. It took the guess work out of what the design and fabric should be.

This year, I wanted to design one myself. I found an amazing book of Japanese inspired quilt blocks to help me pull it together. I really like the two color designs of the blocks and making a bunch of different block designs, but in the same fabrics. These are a few of the blocks that I have made just messing around. I am not inspired to move in a particular direction at this point. I love the dragon fly fabric, it is definitely Japanese feeling. but I am stuck.

These are four of the blocks:



And of course, since I have a large project looming over my head, I have been doing nonsence sewing. Just stuff that I have been procrastinating. I have never been able to follow a pattern, so I am forcing myself to make simple projects from patterns. This bag that I made is from the book: Simple Sewing. Isn't it cute? But it has no lining and no pockets. I have so much to learn.....




Derby update:
Many things happening.
-I have been skating every day for about a half an hour. My ankles hurt and I haven't fallen yet. I need to get ready for the Detroit "fresh meat" training program. As soon as I can pass the basic test, a few of us begin the intense program under Detroit Derby Girls help.
-I am an official member of the board. Treasurer
-Practice space is being nailed down.
-I am ordering my skates and pads this week.
-We have our first public appearance this Friday. The Toledo Arotmatic 419 event on Sept 14. We will be skating in groups in several bars. whoo hoo!

A Heavy Hit for our Family...

Well, I am sorry to say that Steve's logo was not selected. The one chosen was:


Mark posted:

As you can see from the poll, it was very close. The jurors had many
favorites. They took into account, the poll numbers, usability and
personal choice. Each jury vote was counted equally as a poll vote, so
your vote had the same value.

Kelly's image was chosen for a few reasons, but primarily because:

- If you look at artists alone, all of Kelly's entries were very well
received. "Silhoutte" was one of her top vote getters. However, I
think we would also use her other entries.

- The juror's liked it for it's simplicity and that it is equality
readable, both large and very small. This helps when we use the logo
on letterheads, helmet stickers or t-shirts.

I can't say that I am not disappointed. The one they chose is very common looking. Steve wasn't not upset, because he was utltimately not happy with his submissions. Perfectionists.

Bone Marrow

Many of you are aware that my 8 year old niece Jamarielle (aka JAM)has Cancer. I have asked many of you to consider becoming a bone marrow donor. If by any chance you were not registering to become a donor because it costs $52, let me know. Jessica has a credit with www.marrow.org that will allow you to register for free. So let me know. All you have to do to register is swab your mouth for a DNA sample (very CSI isn't it?) and they add you to the national list. Then if anyone is a match, you will be notified.

do it.

More Stage Names....

Wow! You people are really pulling through for me! Check out these submissions from insomniac Chris in Seattle:

Betty Clocker
Menstrina Cramp
The Tower Twins (get a partner)
Gerry Atra
Micha Spitz
Vee-Six
Lisa Condo
Camille Tow
Broadzilla
Grabiella
Holly Roller
Whip Lashes
Aunt Acid
Trippy Pinchweed

And these are from the Ish-man! And you can tell just by reading them too!

Maul'n Momma or Maul'n Michelle
The Missile
Michelle the Missile
Mash'n Michelle
The Face Masher
As$ kicking Michelle (Atkinson kinda sounds like ass kicking)
Missing Link
Miss Congeniality (not)
Misaligned
Misguided
Misery
Misdiagnosed
Mangl'n Michelle
The Misfit
Murder'n Michelle
Mosh Pit Michelle
Mofo Michelle (aka Michelle the Mofo)
THE MOFO
The Fo
TKO Mofo
Maniacal Michelle
Murder'n Michelle Manendez (aka Lyle and Eric's little sister)
B!tch on Wheels, or Bee-otch
The Toledo Twister
Ruthless Rita, Roxanne, Renee (pick one)
Face Plant Fran
Skidmark
Woodburn Wanda
Frunkussssssssss
F-bomb Fran
For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge
The Pink Panther Pounder
The M*A*S*H* - er
Klinger's Bitch
Roller Girl
Heather Graham
Rink Rocker
Rink Rebel
Rink Wrecker
Circular Saw
Circle Jerk (er)
360 Psycho
Spinning Psycho Girl
Camel Toe Kicker
Taint Kicker
Why does by right skate always smell like tuna ?
Pull my Finger Fran
F@rt Knocker

Whoooweee! There are some good ones in that list! (Taint Kicker, Why does my right skate always smell like tuna? And then bringing Klinger into it. pure genius!) I think we have had a disturbing look into Ish's mind...

I changed the options on this blog so you should be able to leave a comment without registering. So be sure to leave your opinions on which are your favorites.

I will post the logo winner later in the day. There has been some kind of delay in the process.

First Entry

This all began last weekend when my MySpace received a very rare invitation to become someones' friend. It was rare, because they weren't trying to sell me a cell phone. It was the Glass City Roller Girls. I immediately got a pit in my stomach from excitement. I attended a Roller Derby event in Columbus last year and was immediately hooked. Come hell or high water, I want to try out for a spot on a team. But Toledo doesn't have a team. Enter Mark.

Mark is a retired Toledo firefighter and artist, who has decided that Toledo needs a Roller Derby and is committed to do all of the leg-work (there is A LOT) to get her up and running. I met him last week when a few of us went up to Detroit for a meet and greet with the Detroit Derby Girls. They are guiding us through this process and helping Mark in many ways.


LOGO Contest
The logo contest is taking place today. Last week I was gently nudging Steve to work on an entry. He has been under a lot of stress lately at work and having terrible luck with his health. Last week he had to have a tooth extracted, which should have been a relief on the pain. But it became infected and the pain got even worse. He somehow went to work all week and on Wednesday was walking through the bus garage and inhaled bus fumes (some asshole was too lazy to turn on the building's exhaust fans) and landed in the ER. All during this week, he did put in some hours in on his logo submission, but it just wasn't there yet. Until Friday night, an hour before the deadline, he showed me his latest. How cool! I am so excited and proud of him. I really hoped that it is picked. We should know which one is picked tomorrow.

Below are the 13 submissions. Steve's are the last 4. The last one with the face is my favorite:














Stage Name
So I need a stage name. It is the most important part of this process. Well maybe not as important as practicing so I dont kill myself, but right now it is consuming my life and many others. Many friends and family members are vying for the privilege of picking my name. It is becoming very difficult at this point. I have pages and pages of ideas. I think this blog can be a great spot for everyone to brainstorm together and nail this. One of the Detroit girls told me it took her 3 months to decide on a name. And she went with E. Norma Sass.

My sister asked her 8 year old daughter for help. She says "Jam, we need the meanest , toughest, nickname for aunt michelle that you can think of." Jam then thinks it out long and hard and comes up with the name: JANICE. And right now Janice, in its simplicity is actually pulling ahead. Bi-Polar Janice is a spin on that that we love as well.

Here is what the name needs. Got to sound intimidating. And I would like it to have something to do with me. ie: drinker, mom, crafter, pilates, age related (since I 'll probably be the oldest skater). And it has to be something that my kids can tell to other people. Meaning it can't have bad words in it. I know. That sucks.

There is a link that lists all 9000 registered stage names so you can get the idea of how this works. I am not allowed to copy another name.

So lets list some of the favorites:
Vod-kill-ah
Bi-Polar Janice
Miss Hell (sounds like michelle)
Hippy Momma
Cougar Killa